I am not a little fish.

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I have been in and out of the blogging world a few times over the last 5 years. My first blog was a family/parenting blog and for the longest time, I loved it. A lot of things happened within our family,health struggles with the kids,stress,etc and I really had nothing positive to write about (at least thats how I felt) so I stopped writing. When things calmed down a bit I decided I wanted to start again, only to discover my domain was sold because it came up for renewal and I never got notified. A few failed attempts with different blogs and here I am with She Lives.

It seems like every time I stepped away from blogging everything changed. New platforms, new apps and tools for blogs, PR companies looking for new stats and a million new “rules” would pop up. I always felt like I was behind the eight ball with everything and starting from scratch things felt almost unattainable. I have always struggled with the thought that I am not “good enough” in the blogging world. I don’t have the numbers, I don’t have the page views.. brands won’t notice me, I’m a small fish. This was my way of thinking before I attended #LetsGoRama and up until a few days ago I still had a tiny bit of this negativity in my head.

How did the retreat change my way of thinking? Well imagine being in a room with over 40 Social media influencers,some you have looked up to and admired,some you didn’t know until moments ago.. but all so friendly and willing to offer help and guidance whenever it was needed. Hearing some of my blogging idols (yes I am a blog fan girl!) telling me that I am enough, my numbers are enough and that I am perfect was a big moment for me and really made me see myself in a new light.

I may still doubt myself from time to time but that is normal. All I have to do is keep on moving forward and focus on where I want to go in my blogging career. Luckily I have a great support group in the community to look to for guidance when I need it.

~Jennifer

*Check back soon for a full post about my experience attending #LetsGoRama at Casino Rama Resort.

Why the guilt?

For my friends birthday this year we met up at a local rib fest. I was right in the middle of my Whole30 journey and had it in my head what I would eat while I was there. I should have had a snack or even ate┬ádinner at home but I wanted to be with my friends for supper so I waited. The year prior I had seen people wandering around with turkey legs that appeared to be smoked with some seasoning on them. I had it in my mind that this is what I was going to get.. no sugary BBQ sauces for this gal! My friends and I were off to find the Turkey leg vendor and once I opened my take out container I was shocked to see this BBQ sauce smothered turkey leg staring at me. I found myself feeling upset. I was starving and everyone around me was enjoying all the things that I couldn’t. At first I tried to scrape off and pick around the sauce but I eventually just gave up and ate as much as I could. Something happened to me at that moment.. I felt an extreme sense of guilt and was disappointed in myself.

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I know it seems a little silly but for me it felt like a huge fail. I was doing so well and was on plan 100% and here it was.. in this moment with a turkey leg I felt defeated. It took me awhile to realize that this is going to be my reality when it comes to food. It may not be the issue with sugar but something else next time. I just need to learn to not be so hard on myself and keep moving forward. One delicious turkey leg smothered in BBQ sauce should not be the thing that defeats me.

This journey has taught me a lot about myself, my relationship with food and how it affects my every day life. So many people feel trapped by food, like they have no control over their choices. I can tell you that I am defiantly an emotional and stress eater and if you knew me outside of internet land you would know exactly why. Over the last few months I have realized that as much as I want to lose weight that isn’t the motivating factor of this journey. It is actually learning how to live a less stressful life so that I can be a happier, healthier person in all aspects.

~Jennifer

Whole30-Week ONE

Long time no see!

I know I say it over and over again, but things have been crazy busy around here for the last little while. Business is busy which is great but leaves little to no time for my little slice of the internet and I miss you all *tear*.

Anyway, here’s a little update on what I have been up to on the healthy living front. A week ago I (along with the husband) started the Whole30 way of eating. If you have never heard of it I recommend you check out the official Whole30 website to find out all you need to know.

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For the longest time I have felt like total garbage. Always tired,moody,bloated,blotchy skin.. you name it I felt it. Being sick and tired of feeling well..sick and tired I decided to give this Whole30 thing a shot. I already suspected that Gluten was a major factor in my feeling crummy so I was working on getting that out of my diet anyway. Along with no Gluten (wheat) I am eliminating dairy,sugar,alcohol and legumes from my diet. I’m not gonna lie, the week leading up to my start date I was nervous. I had no idea what I was going to eat and thought this was going to be the WORST thing ever. I love food, yummy tasting food and surly having to cut all the above mentioned from my diet was going to mean bland gross food and I would be back to binging in no time.

WRONG!

I am in LOVE with the foods I am eating! I have even found I take more time in the kitchen and more pride in the finished product. Not only am I eating a ton of yummy and healthy food but just ONE week in and I am feeling pretty darn good. I haven’t woken up with a sore tummy for a few days now and my mind seems so much clearer.

I am a huge emotional/stress eater and for those who know me outside of internet land you know that my days are pretty much filled with both. I’m not going to sit here and tell you that I haven’t wanted to dive face first into a large strawberry cheesecake blizzard from DQ because that would just be a huge lie. I can tell you that every time I have had the temptation to just binge eat on random crap I have stopped myself. You have to think of the end result and if that blizzard from DQ is worth how you will feel afterwards. NEWSFLASH it will just make you feel worse if you eat it.

Keep your eyes peeled to the blog over the next few weeks as I share more about my journey with Whole30. I will share recipes that we have enjoyed and maybe share some vlogs from time to time.

That’s all for now folks.

~Jenn